is this it?

i'm currently preparing for my ER rotation exam

i can't shake the worry about whether this is the right career path for me

yes, i'm overwhelmed and feel like i'll never know enough

but apart from that, i have this fear that i won't love doing this every day

what if i don't even like doing this most days

i feel like i'm constantly second guessing myself and my lack of self confidence is really disheartening

i want to cry, but i know my time would be better spent in studying my objective list

I am...

Currently awaiting the end of my ER rotation.

It's not that it's been a bad rotation. It's just not for me.
I've already completed my psychiatry (which i thoroughly enjoyed) and geriatrics (old people are generally cute). Next up is orthopedics.

Here is what I'm currently killing time looking at online:

The TimeTurner from The Prisoner of Azkaban. I would REALLLLLLLY like this one, cause I wear silver, but it's way more expensive than the gold one.

I really prefer the box this one comes with.

"I mark the hours every one nor have I yet outrun the sun. My use and value unto you are gauged by what you have to do". I like that they actually included the inscription.
::dreamy face::

i love the Marauder's Map. plain. and. simple.

I know I need to get an actual iPhone first, but
I'm working on it! ;)

i think this is super cute and would
love to lounge around in it!

These are awesome! They would also go great with my robe 

and wand. I still have the nimbus 2000 socks my mom got 

me when the first film came out! Shout out Mom - i love you!

This mug is sooooo
awesome!

When you put coffee in it...

I would like one of each, please and thank you.

Mischief managed. Till next time, which hopefully won't be too long...
-Damaris

Busy. Tired. Inconsistent.

A few words that describe my life at this point.

Busy. Tired. Inconsistent.

I've not been keeping up with my P90x workouts.

But I did run 2.2 miles twice this weekend.

Don't judge me.

Day 7...

Just a quick update to let you all know that I just finished day 7 of the P90x program and I feel great!!! :) I hope everyone's doing well.

I started my psych rotation this Monday, and I've already seen lots of "interesting" people.

Tomorrow's our first tutor group session of phase 2 and I get to see my lovely Mattoon girlies. This makes me smile. ;)

Good night, loves.

Day 2 of P90X

Can you say "WOAH!!"

That's how my body feels right now. Yesterday I awoke at the crack of dawn (5:45am) and did day one's workout - Core synergistics. It was really intense. Then I had orientation at the hospital for Phase 2 rotations. Exciting!!! This means I also got to see my Mattoon girlies who are also in the program. ;)

After all of that was done I literally came home and spent the entire day in my bed either reading or watching stuff on netflix. it was really nice. I finally got to watch Eat, Pray, Love and I liked it. I was asleep by 9:30pm and slept all the way through 9am this morning!!!

So, I ran 2 miles this morning and just finishied my second P90X workout - CardioX. I am beat. My body is ridiculously sore. Seriously. Tomorrow I'll be driving up to LOW to meet up with my TNT for a long run (probably only 4 miles for me). Then my mom-in-law and I will be scrapbooking alllllll day long at Daisy Lane!! So Excited.

Anyways, I need to go unstinkify and meet a buddy for lunch. I hope everyone is having a great day.

Here are some funnies to keep you smiling throughout the day. Enjoy!

GOALS

So, in the last year I've been very busy with PA school. Unfortunately, all of the studying and stressing left me very little time to run or work out, and a ton of time sitting on the couch and snacking while working on assignments for class. The result ---> I gained 11 pounds. Ugh. Putting it in writing makes me really ashamed. I was in the best shape since I had started running in May 2008 when the program started last June. I felt confident. I felt good about myself. Now, not so much.

The plan is to get back in shape as quickly as possible. I started running again on Monday (6/6) and plan to run the Nashville Women's half marathon on 9/24. My last half time was 2:30 (my fastest to date), so my plan is to come in at 2:20.

I also got my copy of P90x in the mail today. I'm really excited to start the program tomorrow. I'm going to do the lean version. I spent all day looking over the nutrition plan and other material. I can't lie- i'm excited, but I'm also more than a little bit intimidated. I'll need some help to push me along. Any encouragement will be greatly appreciated. And if anyone has the program and wants to start with me tomorrow that would be awesome!!!

Here's my plan for the next 7 days:
-1 Core synergistics
-2 Cardio X
-3 Shoulders & arms, Ab ripper X
-4 Yoga X
-5 Legs & back, Ab ripper X
-6 Kenpo X
-7 Rest or X stretch
I'll also be running 3-4 times a week.

So, without further ado, here are the "before" pics....

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Please know that I don't feel good about these pics at all. The term "upset" is a mild version of how I feel about my body right now, but this was not meant to be a pity party. I've made the first step toward making a change, and tomorrow will be day 1 on my 90-day journey to a better me.

Please send positive vibes.

-Damaris

edited on 7/31/11 - i removed the pics. they were really bothering me. :(

I'm back!! I swear...

Hello friends!!!

I finished year one of PA school last month and I'm moving on to phase two tomorrow. I would've posted sooner, but I was busy relaxing and hanging out with my mom. :) After finals there was a frenzy of celebrating my 5 year wedding anniversary, moving back to Mattoon (when Justin broke his ankle stepping off the Uhaul truck), going back to Carbondale for some last minute certifications and a master symposium (and some drinks and a hilarious sleep over with all of the girls). Then mom flew in and we spent two weeks relaxing, reading, scrapbooking, etc - we even spent a day visiting the wineries in Carbondale. All in all, it's been a great break. So much to celebrate and be thankful for.

I mentioned earlier that hubby and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary on May 13th. I'm not sure where the time has gone. We had a wonderful dinner at Global Gourmet in Carbondale and the food was delicious! The atmosphere was so cozy and I kind of fell in love with the place.
Appetizer: roasted garlic with warm, crusty bread, pesto, feta cheese, olives and diced tomatoes. YUM!
Entrees: Justin had the fennel encrusted salmon with roasted potatoes and veggies. I had cheese stuffed chicken breast also served with roasted potatoes and veggies. Delish.

Anyways, I'll be posting some pics soon, I promise. We did so many cool things as part of PA school, the casting pics are a lot of fun, so I'll be sure to include some of them.

This made me smile, so I decided to include it, in hopes that it makes you smile too! ;)